Scripture: Galatians 5:22, 1 John 4:7, 1 Cor. 14:1
Today we are kicking off a new sermon series called “How We Deal with Others: Finding a Middle Way.” And this is one of those series where you can kind of kick back and get comfy, because we are going to be here awhile! This series is going to take us up until Lent, so for all of January and February. We’re going to be basing our conversation around Paul’s writing in Galatians 5, which you heard today, a passage known as “The Fruit of the Spirit.”
You might be wondering why we are going to spend two months exploring this very small section of Scripture. And I guess I would say that this is one of those scriptures where “small but mighty” would be a good descriptor. There’s a LOT here to unpack and explore and apply to our lives. And it seems to be especially important that we explore THIS specific teaching at THIS specific time. As the pastoral team at St. Luke’s was praying over how we might begin this year in worship, we just kept coming back to the overwhelming strain that exists on our relationships right now. To the overwhelming division that exists in our country. To the really challenging place so many of us have found ourselves in as we try to navigate these relational tensions and divisions—do we spend all of our time
locked in conflict with people who have different viewpoints than we do...or do we simply cut ties and walk away?
Those are the overwhelming narratives I’ve been seeing, especially since the election. And honestly, both...feel a little incomplete. There’s a time and a place for each of those ways, but I just wonder if there isn’t a middle way. A third way. A way that is, truthfully, more complicated. More challenging. A way that we can only walk if we’re walking it with God.
So THAT is why we’re spending two months talking about the Fruit of the Spirit.
Let me read this passage in Galatians to you again:
By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.
Now, something that’s interesting about how Paul describes this is that he calls it the FRUIT of the Spirit...not the FRUITS. It’s singular, not plural. And here’s why this matters—this isn’t an actual fruit bowl that Paul is talking about here! Meaning, we can’t pick a pear, because we like pears, and neglect the bananas, which we DON’T really like, and so we leave them in
the bottom of the bowl to get all brown and mushy. We don’t get to do that here. We don’t get to say, “yes! I love apples, I will eat them all!” and then let the peaches get fruit flies. This is not a pick and choose your favorite fruits situation that Paul is talking about. None of these are more important, none of them are less important. To be truly healthy and thriving in our faith...we have to tend to all of them. Yes, even the ones we don’t really like. Even the ones that are a HUGE challenge. Each of these nine things that Paul names here are essential to our faith and how we deal with others.
Now, for those of you who are instantly overwhelmed by that, and you think, “but I just really wanted the apples,” or can pinpoint at least one of these things that just feel impossible, here’s the good news—what we’re talking about during this series is NOT an exercise in your willpower. It’s not just about “doing the right thing” or gritting your teeth and just pushing through. This is actually a bit gentler than that. This is about the work of the Holy Spirit in us. It’s about acknowledging our dependence on God’s Spirit at work in us to do ANY of these things, even the ones we feel super comfortable with or accomplished at. It’s about our OPENNESS to what work the Spirit wants to do in us, and how (SLIDE) doing this internal work will show up in our relationships and the world around us.
We’re going to look at love today as we begin, but before we get there, I just want to say one more thing about this whole practice that we’re entering into together: this work, these ways of living, are deeply countercultural. I don’t know if it caught your attention when we read from Galatians, but Paul starts his sentence by saying, “BY CONTRAST.” He’s basically saying here, “you’re seeing a lot of things lived out in the world around you. You’re seeing people bring certain things into their relationships. You’re seeing, at times, the worst in each other.”
But what if it doesn't have to be like that? What if, BY CONTRAST, we, as people who know and follow Jesus, could do it differently?
That's where we start today. And we start...by looking at love.
Love is a pretty significant theme in the Bible. In fact, some version of the word Love appears between 600-700 times throughout Scripture, depending on which translation you’re reading. We say things like, “God is love” or “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son,” or “They will know we are Christians by our love”. I Corinthians 14:1 says, “Let love be your highest goal!” I mean, I could go on here! The point is, this
is a pretty central teaching to who we are or want to be as Christians. Love matters; love is essential.
But love...is also really challenging to put into practice. And I think there are a couple of reasons for this.
First, (SLIDE) our definition of love could use some work.
And, second, (SLIDE) We live in the tension of being right and being in relationship.
Let’s start with our definition.
Most of us would say that we LOVE a lot of different things. We love summer vacation, we love pizza, we love watching videos of dogs reenacting Defying Gravity on TikTok! I might love that last one the most! But not all love is created or expressed in the same way. CS Lewis wrote a book called “The Four Loves” which explores this idea that there are different ways of experiencing love in this world, and that each way has a different impact on us. Here’s a quick rundown on these four types of love:
- • Storge: Familial Love—the love experienced between family members, friends, deep companions. This is familiar, comfortable, genuine love.
- • Phileo: Friendship—this is usually based on shared beliefs, values, interests. It can be one to one or experienced in a group setting.
- • Eros: Passion, Romance—this is maybe kind of self-explanatory, and what I will say is that I will never forget when I was in youth group, we watched a Rob Bell video on the types of love, and to explain this one, he lit a huge pile of sticks and wood on fire.
- • Agape: Selfless, Charity—this is probably the most talked about one. And it’s the one that we need to pay attention to as we’re trying to refine our definition of love. Because THIS kind of love is deeper than feelings. It’s bigger than preferences or having things in common. It doesn’t depend on agreement or the ability to even experience any kind of reciprocity as we give love. Frankly, this love is hard. This kind of love can really stretch us in how we move about the world. I think this is the kind of love that Jesus practiced and based his teachings off of. It’s love that links itself to action and isn’t afraid to look at the needs of the world or the human in front of us and pay attention to the point where it might even break our hearts.
As we talk about these types of love, I wonder: Is there someone in your life who you are practicing this agape love with right now? Or, is there someone who maybe the Holy Spirit is putting on your heart to practice this kind of love with as we talk today?
Maybe you’d want to jot that down on your bulletin or simply hold that person in your heart. I don’t need you to make a big decision in this moment, but I would invite you to pray over that relationship this week. And as you pray, just be attentive to the work of the Spirit that comes with those prayers. Maybe it’s a shift in your heart towards them, maybe there’s a chance for reconciliation or something to be made right. I don’t know what the Spirit might do. But I do know that when Jesus asks us to love in this agape way, that he gives us the Spirit to guide us, even in the most complicated situations. I DO know that we don’t have to figure out how to practice this kind of love on our own.
And maybe that brings us to that second point, about the tension we live in between being right and being in relationship. Because THIS is probably the sticking point for many of us. This is where so many of our relationships fall apart. This is where when we hear a Scripture like the one in 1 John that says: “Dear friends, let us continue to love one
another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.” we can feel a bit stuck. Because we like this idea, it sounds great, we want to continue to love each other, we want to reflect God in the world, but sometimes it’s like, “God, have you actually met that person?! Have you HEARD the things they say?! Have you listened to their viewpoints?! How do I DO this? Especially when I am sure, to the depths of my soul, that they are wrong?”
Maybe it would help if we looked at some of the Scripture around this specific verse, and the author of the Scripture himself. Because this isn’t a flowery love letter that we’re reading. In fact, the first verse in the chapter says, (SLIDE) “Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God.” So right away, John is warning us that we’re not always going to be connected to people who are actually living out what God would hope for. Just by being in relationship with people, we’re guaranteed to run into someone who believes something that directly contradicts what we believe to be true...and they might even claim that the thing they believe, that we are so appalled by, comes from their own belief in God!
So the tension is right there, in this whole chapter. And if you’re in a situation like this, I would encourage you to read 1 John
Chapter 4, if for nothing else but some solidarity and the reminder that living out God’s love is not for the faint of heart.
But again, it’s not a solo pursuit. And someone like John knew that just as well as any of us. If you read through the Gospels and you see mentions of John and his brother James, they were nicknamed “The Sons of Thunder” and probably for good reason. They were a lot. And they wanted people to do the right thing or there would be consequences. There's this great part in Luke 9, where Jesus and his disciples go to this Samaritan village. And the village just straight up rejects Jesus. They don’t want him there, they aren’t interested. And John and his brother, they know this is wrong. They are deeply offended by it. And so they go to Jesus and ask him, this is a direct quote:
“Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?”
So loving!
But come on, haven’t we ALL had those moments? Where we’ve felt that fury, where we’ve wanted to just cut someone off or be done with them because they are SO WRONG?
Now, Jesus, you might not be surprised to learn, does not, in fact, want them to command fire to come down from heaven and consume these people. He actually rebukes them for
raising that possibility, and they move on to the next place. And Jesus keeps leading with the example of what it looks like to love people even when it’s complicated. Even when it’s painful. Even when it requires boundaries and honesty and disagreement. Because, look, Jesus doesn’t rain down fire from heaven, but he also doesn’t rent a room and hang out for a long time and wear himself out trying to convince them to follow him. He moves on, but he does it with grace and love and peace. There’s some nuance in the way he loves this specific group of people.
Maybe we could embrace some of that nuance in our own relationships. I heard a quote from Britt Baron’s recent book called “Do You Still Talk to Grandma?” and it’s on my list to read this book this year, but this quote just impacted me so deeply that I wanted to share it with you today. She says, (SLIDE) “Empathy is not agreement and compassion is not weakness.”--Britt Baron
Can I read that again for us? “Empathy is not agreement and compassion is not weakness.”
I wonder if that is the kind of lesson that John learns throughout his life and as he follows Jesus. That his convictions are GOOD, his passion for the right thing is IMPORTANT...and love still gets to be in the mix. Compassion can still be part of who he is. Empathy can be baked into the way he approaches
people and he doesn’t have a personal mandate to take down everyone who he has a disagreement with.
Because the truth is...Relationships and love can be incredibly messy and imperfect. But when we practice empathy and compassion and agape love...those relationships can reflect the heart of God.
We’re going to move to the Communion table now, and as we do, I want to think about the way that agape love shows up in this place. You know, Jesus sat around this table with his friends and there were so many relational dynamics happening. And, for Jesus, there was the extra element of having Judas in the mix. The man who would betray him in just a few days.
Honestly, if it had been me, I would have been tempted to say, “this bread and wine is a blessing for all of you...except you Judas.” I wouldn’t have wanted him at MY table.
And yet...Jesus keeps the table open. For Judas. For his friends. For each of us. And when we come to this table, we experience an unconditional, selfless, deeply compassionate love that we not only receive for ourselves, but get to offer to the world.
Transition to Wesley Covenant Prayer