June 17, 2025
• Rev. Mindie Moore
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David Series Week 5
2 Samuel 15:1-6
Today we are continuing our series on the life of King David, and in light of the fact that it’s Father’s Day, we’re diving into David’s family dynamics a bit. Now, similarly to Mother’s Day, I know that this is a day that can be a bit emotionally charged for some of us. Some of us have distant or painful relationships with our dads, some of us have lost our dads, some of us might never have had a relationship with our dads.
And as we talk about this aspect of David’s life, what we’ll see is that David’s role as a father was incredibly complicated and you could say deeply flawed. So we’re not necessarily studying this for any kind of how-to's or anything like that. And this specific story and the events that lead up to it...they’re tough. I mean, we’re going to explore a few things that happen in this family that are hard to digest or explain. The author Phyllis Tickle refers to some of the events that happen in David’s family as “texts of terror” that’s how awful they are.
But with all that said, I still think there’s a lot we can LEARN from David as a dad and his relationship with his family AND, maybe most importantly, today is one of those days where we get to remember that even when we encounter the
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worst stories, even when things are deeply broken, hope is possible. And, not just possible, but hope is something that we get to actively be part of creating.
So as we go into our message today, let’s pray together.
Prayer
Have you ever watched a show with someone who asks a lot of questions during it? I realized last summer that I am that person (sorry Zack). And I realized it while Zack and I were watching House of the Dragon. If you haven’t watched this show, it’s a Game of Thrones prequel. And this show...both entertains me AND confuses me on a deep level. First of all, like 5 people’s names on that show sound exactly the same. Amon, Damon, Aegon, Rhaenys, Rhaenyra, Rhaena...WHAT! I can’t!
And not only are the names confusing, but the family tree is very complicated (SLIDE). I couldn’t keep track of who the siblings were, who was married, sometimes those things were not mutually exclusive categories. So I found myself, every episode, asking Zack all these questions—who is that? Why are they mad at each other? How are they related? Who died?
And that level of complexity is not that different from what we see as we look at the family of King David. There are less
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dragons in David’s story, unfortunately. But the family! Wow—there's a lot going on in the house of David. And the Scripture we read today is sort of the end of the saga. It’s when all of the conflict happening in this family really comes to a critical point. What we read today is a snippet of David’s son Absalom trying to woo over his father’s people and essentially stage a coup. But to understand why this conflict exists, we’ve got to go back a bit and watch these family dynamics start to unravel.
So at this point in the story, David is king. We’ve moved beyond where we’ve been the past several weeks, seeing him as a young man, trying to figure out his life, sometimes on the run. By now, he’s got it made. He’s living large. He’s got himself 7 wives and many of them have multiple children, and you can imagine that this leads to some pretty messy relational dynamics. The family tension really centers on these two half-brothers, Absalom and Amnon, who are kind of at the top of this family tree. Amnon is the oldest, officially the crown prince, and it seems like he’s lived a life of getting everything he’s ever wanted because of his position in the family.
And unfortunately, these complicated family dynamics coupled with the ultra-privileged life that this young prince is living...it leads to some incredibly tragic events. Amnon sets
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his desires on his half-sister Tamar, who is the full sister of Absalom. He wants her in ways that are predatory, he lures her to his room under the pretenses of being sick. And once she’s there, he commits a horrible crime against her.
Tamar, and honestly, we could have a whole separate sermon just on Tamar’s courage in the face of terror, even though her life is essentially ruined by what he has done to her because of the culture and the customs of their time, she doesn’t go quietly. She rips her tunic, she spreads ashes on her head, and she lets it be known, publicly, what Amnon has done to her.
And as the news gets out about this terrible violence that has been committed, this is where David comes back into the picture. The text tells us that “When King David heard all this, he was furious.” (2 Samuel 13:21). And rightfully so; we would hope that this would be his first, automatic response to what’s going on in his family.
But here’s the problem. David might FEEL fury. He might KNOW what Amnon did was horrifically wrong. But he doesn’t DO anything about it. He doesn’t confront his son, who is supposed to one day be the ruler of the kingdom David has spent his life building. He doesn’t go to his daughter and try to help her heal. The author Max Lucado describes the situation like this in one of his books:
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“No lecture. No penalty. No imprisonment. No dressing down. No chewing out. David did nothing to Amnon. And, even worse, he did nothing for Tamar. She needed his protection, his affirmation, his validation. She needed a dad. And what she got was silence.”
David allows victimization and violence to happen and go unpunished in his own home. When he is needed to step up the most...he doesn’t. And we don’t know exactly why that is. We don’t know what kept him from moving beyond how he felt to how he absolutely needed to act. But what we DO know is that his inaction has consequences.
And if I’m honest with you, this for me is the most convicting point of this whole narrative. That (SLIDE) inaction has deep, harmful consequences. And that as someone who prefers peace and harmony in my life over conflict, I can choose inaction more than I should. I can tell myself that I don’t need to get involved or that it might ruffle too many feathers if I do.
But this story reminds me of what we’ve talked a lot in this space, that the action we take matters. And that no action is too small to be insignificant. I’ve thought a lot about that this past week, as we’ve seen a swell in protests and the different conversations that have been happening around this specific moment in our country. There's a lot of
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commentary about what people should or shouldn’t be doing and it almost feels like it would be easier to check out and do nothing because the issues and the scope of what’s happening can be overwhelming.
But I really do believe that God keeps calling us, inviting us, to take action when it needs to be done. Yesterday at Pride, I saw an example of this that was just beautiful and incredible to me. If you go to Pride, there’s always a section of protestors. And they have signs and microphones and the things they are saying are just so horrible and harmful and all under the cloak of following Jesus. This part of the parade always makes me feel sick. But yesterday, I saw something different. I saw people take action. Because in front of the signs and the microphones was another group. Who were holding rainbow umbrellas, who were yelling kind words. And the crowd itself in that area was celebrating as loudly as they could. They were taking action to drown out the harm around them.
And as I witnessed that, and I think about David’s story, it just reminds me of the power of showing up and speaking out and doing the work in front of us. And especially when we have privilege or power, which David absolutely has, we have a responsibility to DO something.
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One of the tragic things, among many tragic things in this story, is just how many times David misses his chance to do something. It almost becomes this pattern that something happens, he feels his feelings about it, and then he just sort of backs away. And his inaction doesn’t just not fix things, but it actually creates more problems and leads to these patterns of violence in his family system that end up really tearing it apart.
If you keep reading in 2 Samuel, what we see is that Absalom ends up taking matters into his own hands to get justice for his sister. He waits—2 years in fact—and watches, and plans. And then finally, under the guise of having a big party...he gets the family together again. He invites David, David declines to show up, but his brother Amnon is there. And it’s there, over dinner, that Absalom puts his plan in motion and murders his brother.
And ONCE AGAIN David doesn’t do anything. There’s no trial or true punishment for what Absalom does here—David just lets Absalom exist in a palace in exile and exclusion for five years. They stop communicating. The distance and avoidance grows. And that’s what brings us to the Scripture we read today. By the time we get to 2 Samuel 15, it’s very clear that Absalom has lost all trust in David because he doesn’t believe David is going to take action against
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anything. Because of all the ways David has checked out and avoided getting involved, Absalom assumes he can get away with anything. And so he decides to take the kingdom away from his father, by turning the people against him.
I have to tell you that this story doesn’t really have a happy or satisfying ending. The fighting escalates. Absalom is killed. David is wrecked with grief, and the people around him tell him he’s got to get over it and move on because he’s got a kingdom to lead. I read through 2 Samuel 13-19 in one sitting to really get the scope of this story and I just have to tell you...it’s tough. It’s bleak. You leave this whole narrative just feeling sad and like there isn’t much hope.
But remember—I gave you a little preview of where we were going today on purpose. Because it’s exactly when we’re confronted with hopeless situations that we have to get serious about looking for hope.
And while there’s not a lot of good news in this part of David’s story, what we know is that this is not where the story ends. And those generational patterns and narratives, that culture of violence and avoidance, those aren’t the final word when God is involved. And when I look at where God’s story goes, when I look at the person of Jesus and how Jesus leans ALL IN to the hardest moments and refuses to shrink back on his care and advocacy for the ones who need it
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most, when I think about the way that Jesus MAKES peace instead of just passively hoping peace will materialize...I not only believe that hope is possible, but I see an example of how we, as followers of Jesus, can actually be those hope creators.
The truth is, and the thing that my faith keeps reminding me of, even on the hardest, darkest days, is that (SLIDE) We can always tell a better story. We can disrupt a generational pattern. We can interrupt harm being caused. We can work for healing and redemption because we have a God who says- yes this is possible.
I want to close by telling you a story of hope from a family in our church, and specifically of a dad who has shown up with love and acceptance in some powerful ways. You may know (SLIDE) Keith Baughman—he's a member of St. Luke’s and is often in the tech booth either at North Indy or here at Midtown. Susanne, his wife, regularly reads scripture here too. Keith and Susanne have two biological children, Ashlea and CJ, who will tell you that their family is VERY close and that they had a dad who SHOWED UP all throughout their childhood. He was the dad who was at all the sporting events and school activities from elementary through college. They could always count on Keith being in the crowd cheering them on.
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As a teenager, CJ wrestled with coming out to their parents. They weren't sure how they would respond or how this might change the relationship. CJ clearly remembers their dad telling them, “I don’t know that I understand everything you’ve shared, but I want you to know I love you. I will love you no matter what.” It was clear that their family, and the love they shared wasn’t going anywhere.
A few years later when CJ’s journey continued and shared with Susanne and Keith the decision to change pronouns from her to them, CJ said, “Again, I had this uncertainty, because I didn’t know for sure. Was this going to be too much? Would my dad say, ‘I can’t accept all this.” But no, Keith reassured again, “you are my child and I love you.” And, Keith put those feelings into action. CJ says one of the things that meant so much to them is that last year Keith marched with St. Luke’s in the Pride Parade, and CJ says, “I wasn’t even there. It wasn’t like he went because he was dragged along just to support me. No, he was there without me. It was like he was in the crowd cheering for me.”
And honestly, that would be a beautiful place for this story to wrap up. But there’s even more hope that I get to tell you about, from the ways that Keith and his family have shown up.
In college CJ got to know a friend, Becca, who was a neighbor. When Covid started and the students were sent home, “Becca told CJ that she didn’t really have a home to
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go to.” She had been in foster homes and the current situation was not good. So CJ asked their parents if it would be okay if Becca, whom they had met just once, could live with them that summer. They said of course. And as they welcomed Becca informally into their family, two years later they made the decision to make it official and adopt her.
Then, at Annual Conference a few years ago, Suzanne was a delegate and learned about Mission Fellows in the United Methodist Church. She talked to Becca about it and a year later we blessed Becca one Sunday morning as she went to Florida as a Mission Fellow. Becca has been working at Seminole Heights UMC in Tampa and part-time at the Metropolitan Ministry which provides shelter to families in transition. She has also become a certified candidate for ministry in the Florida Conference and will start seminary at Garrett this fall.
When I look at the Baughman family, I see so much hope. I see so much of who Jesus is lived out in them. And what I love about their story is it is uniquely them. And what I want you to remember this morning is that your story is uniquely you. God has given YOU unique gifts. God has placed YOU in unique situations. God has put YOU around specific, unique people. Whoever we are and whatever our lives look like, God gives us these opportunities to act boldly, to show up, and to create hope.
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The story may get hard. The story may break our hearts and be hard to believe that anything good could come from it. That’s the reality of our lives and the world we live in.
And the story is not over...because God is faithful. God is at work. And AS God is at work, the invitation for us to be part of it is WIDE open. So let’s be people who show up, who write better stories, and live out the love of Jesus in this world.
Let’s pray.