Sermon

Run It Back: Forgiveness - Midtown

September 06, 2026 • Rev. Mindie Moore

Matthew 18:21-35

Quick plug for Kids' Ministry volunteers

PRAY

Today we are wrapping up this current series we're in, where we've been looking at some of Pastor Rob's favorite scriptures he's preached throughout his ministry career. And today we are talking about the topic of forgiveness.

Now, this is one of those themes that preachers end up preaching on a LOT throughout the course of their ministry. I've been preaching what I'll call "full time" for a little over 4 years now and I've probably preached six sermons on forgiveness just in that time. And I would love to tell you this morning that because of the frequency that we deal with this topic and that I am your resident expert on forgiveness. That I have mastered the art of reconciliation, that I NEVER hold a grudge.

I would love to be able to tell you that...but it wouldn't be very honest of me.

What IS honest is that forgiveness is HARD to practice. Full stop. Because we are humans with tender hearts and complicated stories and when someone wrongs us...it can be devastating. It's hard not to keep score and it's very easy to get fixated on whatever our sense of "justice" looks like. Even when that justice can end up costing us quite a bit.

There's a story about Abraham Lincoln, before he was president that both illustrates this idea and gives a nice contemporary version of the Biblical story we're going to talk about today. When Lincoln was a lawyer, a man came to him one day to hire him because of a debt someone was refusing to pay him. He was owed $2.50. Now, remember, this was the 1840’s..today that would be about 95 bucks. Lincoln agreed to take his case but did tell that his fee would be more than the debt. It was $10, paid up front.

The man gave Lincoln the $10. Lincoln took half of it, $5, and went to the person who owed the money. He said, “I’ll give you $5 if you go pay your debt.” The person agreed and went to Lincoln’s client and paid him the $2.50.

So the man who OWED the money came out of the whole thing making $2.50. Lincoln made $5.00, and the first man who got his 2.50 back, paid $10 to do so. And what befuddled Lincoln was that the first man, his client, was very happy with how it all worked out for him!

The story we're looking at today from Matthew is a similarly puzzling collection of debts. It's a parable Jesus tells in response to his disciples' wondering about how this forgiveness thing really works. Peter, ever eager and always up for a good conversation, asks Jesus:

“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Now, we might hear this in our contemporary context and think, ok Peter. You're being a little stingy with the forgiveness. But what we need to understand is that Peter is actually probably pretty PROUD of the angle he's taken on this. Because his proposal that a person could forgive someone SEVEN times, when that person has given no indication of remorse or repentance...that actually went well beyond the Rabbinical teaching of the time.

The Rabbinical teaching, what Peter and any other practicing Jew would have been familiar with, was that if someone sins against you, if someone wrongs you, you are to forgive them THREE times.

So Peter being Peter, he goes to Jesus and he multiplies the baseline by two and then for good measure he just adds in one extra time of forgiveness. That feels pretty holy! That seems above and beyond!

The challenge with that view of forgiveness...is that it still feels like keeping score. Whether it's 3 or 7 or 77 times...there's something really important missing from that forgiveness equation. It's missing what Jesus always brings into the picture. It's missing grace.

So Jesus not only counters this question with a story of grace received and grace withheld, but he paints a picture of grace that is SO extravagant, it's kind of unbelievable. It's nonsense grace. Let me tell you about the talents so we can have a better understanding of what makes this story that Jesus tells so absurd:

(SLIDE) In that time, 1 talent was the largest monetary unit. It would have been equal to 6000 drachmas. Now, you don't have to get too caught up in the conversion factors here...what we need to know is simply that 1 talent would have equaled the wages of a manual laborer for 15 years. 1 talent = 15 years wages. This is significant.

So think about someone owing 10,000 of those. That's obscene! Back in that time, that amount would have exceeded the taxes collected in all of Syria, Phoenicia, Judea, and Samaria. In our current economy, a single talent would be around $360,000 and the total debt would be 3.6 BILLION DOLLARS.

IT IS AN UNPAYABLE DEBT...and that's the point.

Because it's a hopeless situation that can only be solved through an extravagant act of grace.

We see the king in this story offer that to this servant who is in debt. The servant is in a desperate place, he BEGS the king to please show mercy on him...and the king does. That's it. The debt is forgiven, he's free to go, it doesn't make any sense why the king would be that compassionate, especially to someone who doesn't deserve it, but that's what happens.

And that act of forgiveness is life-changing for this servant. Now, instead of his life being one big dead end, he's free! Because of one act of forgiveness, the possibilities in front of him are absolutely endless. The sky is the limit; can't you just imagine him celebrating and breathing a sigh of relief?

This story should have a beautiful, happy ending to it. This guy should be running through town bursting with generosity and love. If this was a movie, we would all be crying at what a beautiful redemption story we've just watched.

But because you the heard the whole parable read, you know that's not what happens. And that's what makes this story so tragic. Because this story doesn't end at the king's extravagant grace. It shows us what happens next, that even after receiving this incredible forgiveness, the servant's first move is NOT to go be generous to someone else, but it's to go find someone who is in debt to HIM and demand that he pay up!

On one hand, I really don't get this...like, why not just leave well enough alone? You've got this opportunity for a fresh start and a good life...why would you lead with the exact opposite of what you just received?

But on the other hand, I think we have probably all been in a similar position. Maybe we've gone through a really tough season and people have been SO kind to us, have given us so much grace...and then we've just lashed out at someone else whose struggle we may or may not be aware of. Maybe we've had someone be so gracious and understanding about needing to cancel plans last minute or forgetting to respond to texts, but when someone does that to us we get furious and say, "this person is totally undependable!" Maybe we find ourselves keeping a long list of the ways people have wronged us and we've not taken the time to self reflect that we might actually be the one on someone else's list.

I think this is one of the reasons forgiveness is so hard to talk about and practice. Because not only are (SLIDE) we called to be people who forgive others, but we're called to remember that we are people who have been forgiven. And as much as I struggle to forgive someone else, I think it's actually MORE uncomfortable for me to think about being someone who needs to BE forgiven—whether that's by God or another person. Even though as Methodists, our theology is ALL about grace, being a human who NEEDS that grace...that can feel a little bit unacceptable to me. I don't want to need it. I'd like to have my life together enough that I never get it wrong, never offend, never put myself in a position of having to ask to be forgiven for anything significant.

And I just wonder if being resistant to receiving forgiveness might make it harder to extend forgiveness. If once we're past the initial big understanding that, oh yeah, we don't have to worry about the proverbial debt or anything like that...if maybe we let that all fade into the background. If maybe we take it a bit for granted and allow our hearts to be hardened to the people around us who also need grace.

When Pastor Rob and I were working on this message, I asked him, what do we do with the last two verses. Because up until that point, this feels like a wisdom parable to me. And I can digest the message of "you've been forgiven, you should extend forgiveness to others." But did you notice what v. 34 & 35 say? It's super bleak. It says: (SLIDE)

And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Oh no and yikes. I don't have a particularly strong theology of God's punishment so this is tough. But you might know that I'm never one to ignore something that feels challenging in the Bible. And as Rob and I talked about this, he said something that I thought was so important. He said, "it seems that what Jesus is saying here is that if we hold on to unforgiveness, that unforgiveness becomes a prison in itself."

If we reflect on our lives, I think this feels true. I can't think of one time when holding on to bitterness, really coming at someone with hate and fury, doing whatever it took to prove my point...I can't think of one time that choosing those things over forgiveness actually got me the peace in my soul that I was looking for. I can't think of one time when choosing those things over forgiveness brought me any closer to Jesus. I can think of a lot of times when choosing those things made me feel really energized for a day or so...but then really let me down over time.

All unforgiveness has done for me is spiritually trap me in some pretty dark places. And I really believe that God wants something better for us than that.

So I guess to take this parable and get really practical with it, what I'm wondering is—(SLIDE) what could it look like for each of us to practice forgiveness right now? Where are we stuck? How could we extend grace instead of holding on to things like bitterness and resentment? What moment of reconciliation do we need to initiate?

Now hear me so clearly:

I am never ever going to tell you to be in relationship with people who are:

Unsafe

Harmful

Abusive

Truly toxic

No. I don't think Jesus calls us to harm ourselves in that way. Forgiveness does not always mean relational reconciliation. I have a few people in my own life who I have forgiven in my spirit and they are not welcome in my day-to-day existence. That's real.

AND...here's the challenge:

Sometimes forgiveness IS relational reconciliation. And part of our spiritual journey and personal wholeness is being able to discern that. That is actually work that I think we as people of faith are called to do. Because we live in a world where we are FAR more comfortable cutting someone out of our lives than doing the hard, slow work of being reconciled to each other. We get avoidant and scared and sometimes we call that avoidance a boundary when it's really just wanting to keep the upper hand.

I get why we do it, and I do it myself. And I think what really challenges me in this story that Jesus tells is that BECAUSE of the nonsensical, extravagant level of grace that God gives us, WHEN reconciliation is possible it's a holy responsibility to get to do that work. Sometimes the most significant moments of transformation that we have can come through giving and receiving grace. It creates safety and healing and honesty in our relationships with each other.

So I want to give us one, simple, inward way to start with this. And maybe starting here will open the door to forgiveness in a new way.

When the conflict comes (because healthy relationships have it), when the opportunity to extend grace and forgiveness presents itself, when you start to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable and exposed like those moments can make us feel...take breath. Sit in that discomfort. Start with that inward process of being open to forgiveness in order to do the outward practices of reconciliation.

Let the fact that grace has been given to each of us in a more generous way than we could ever imagine let us choose the humble way of Jesus instead of the self-protective ways we might be tempted to default to.

Let it be hard.

Let it not feel fair.

Let it be challenging.

Let it make you dependent on God's grace working in you as you give that grace to someone else.

Let yourself live like you're free, because you are. Free to love. Free to forgive.

As we get ready to receive communion today, I wanted to read you a poem by Wendell Berry, called "To My Mother". Wendell Berry was a Christian poet, farmer, just a really beautiful and gentle voice in our world. He died this past week at the age of 92. I thought this was such a beautiful picture of what it's like to live our lives knowing we are forgiven, held in grace by God and the people in our lives: (SLIDE)

I was your rebellious son,

do you remember? Sometimes

I wonder if you do remember,

so complete has your forgiveness been.

So complete has your forgiveness been

I wonder sometimes if it did not

precede my wrong, and I erred,

safe found, within your love,

prepared ahead of me, the way home,

or my bed at night, so that almost

I should forgive you, who perhaps

foresaw the worst that I might do,